Stand And Watch What I will Do

Rick B.

May 21, 1975, I was turning 12 years old. I had been dreaming of having a drumset since I was about 6. I would stare at drumsets. I would watch bands just to watch the drummer. I would spend hours pouring over drumset catalogs. I remember having dreams that I had a drumset and I wouldn’t want to wake up. I remember watching the episode of happy days when Chachi gets a drumset. I was convinced this was the year I would get drums.

We went out to dinner. My brother and sister and I would always ride in the back of the truck- not the backseat, there was no such thing back then. The back. As in, the bed with a canopy over it.

On the way home from dinner, I was just convinced I was going to walk into the house and there would be a drumset. I have no idea why I thought that but I just figured my parents knew how badly I wanted one and this was the moment it would happen. I’d finally have it. All the way home, the anticipation was building. When we got home, we climbed out of the little door to the truck canopy. I was so excited but didn’t want to let on. So hopeful. We walked in the front door and there was nothing. I looked around as we made our way to the kitchen. Still, nothing. My parents had a gift wrapped box and they handed me an envelope. After opening the gift, a shirt, I slowly tore open the envelope. What was this? A small booklet. Why? In it was a ledger with an entry that was made for a $25 deposit. I was given a savings account. A SAVINGS ACCOUNT! I was told this would help me start saving my money. I was crushed. No drumset? No drumset!! No moment when I walked in the door and was met with the best gift I could ever receive. No parents standing by proudly as I marveled at my dreams having come true. They didn’t. No dream came true. Only an admonishment to now start saving my money instead of spending it. 2 years later, I would buy my own kit. I finally gave up on anybody helping me out and realized if it was gonna be, it was up to me. I was horrible at saving money. Finally, I got a job babysitting that paid me more than I could spend and I ended up saving up $200.

Fast forward 20 years. Its 1995. I had been playing drums officially since I was 7 but only on a drumset since I was 14. I had played mostly heavy rock or metal and had the drumkit suited for that type of music. But I was starting to move into embracing some jazz roots and playing worship music. The gear I had was not suited well for either.

We were pregnant with our first child. And money was somewhat tight. We weren’t strict on a budget but our inability or unwillingness to save for anything big was only overshadowed by the fact that I could get some decent sized bonus checks in my job. Even those however, would go toward house stuff, furniture, yard, etc.

I was looking to replace my drum gear. I was moving in a new direction and had picked out what I was going to need (want). The search started again. I would look, listen. Stop by the music store and marvel. The kit was a Yamaha Maple Custom. I so badly wanted to figure out how to get it but realized I couldn’t afford a $6000 drum kit. We had a baby. No way was I going to ask my wife to tolerate me spending that kind of money on drums. As I realized how far out of reach this “dream” was becoming, one day, I left the music store and realized it wouldn’t happen. In a very uncharacteristic move however, I found myself praying. “Lord, I don’t need this or even remotely deserve it. Yes I am playing worship stuff but you can make my stuff sound as good as you want it. But I want this new drumkit.

And there is no way I can make this happen. If you’re willing, can you please make this happen. Again, not a necessity but more a desire. In jesus name...” There. I prayed and let it go. If God wanted it to happen, it would happen and if not, it wouldn’t. I called this a “fire and forget prayer.” Because I literally let go of the desire for that kit at that point.

There were other used drum kits that would work fine. I began to peruse the used gear music stores. Seattle had a store called “The Trading Musician”. I would go by there looking. I would see their stuff and waffle on it and not buy anything. One day, I was walking by and I happened to look through the glass storefront door. It was a bit dark but something caught my eye. It was a “YAMAHA” logo. It seemed to be the logo on the front kick-drum head of a drumset. I walked in the door to check it out thinking it would be a used, older kit- still nice and worth looking at. When I got in there I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. It was a dusty Yamaha Maple Custom Kit. It was THE kit I had been looking at. The heads were beat up and it didn’t have much hardware. But there it was and with a little hand-scribbled price sign...$1699. $1699! Wow. I tried to contain my excitement, keeping my poker face (I don’t play poker) and asking the clerk about it. He said some kid had it and he’s always rotating through new kits. This one just happened to be traded here. I asked about a trade and he said, show me what you’ve got and I’m sure we can work something out.

I got into my van and sped home. Loaded all my gear up and dashed back to the store. Literally unloading it onto the sidewalk in front of the store, I motioned for the clerk to come out and see what I had. He looked it over. I can give you $850. Ugh. $850? There were like 3 times as many drums as what I was buying. I asked what he could do on the trade. He said, give me $750 plus your kit and the Yamaha kit is yours. I agreed, paid him the $750 and loaded the new drums into my van. I ran by the music store, picked up some heads and a few hardware pieces and drove home to set it up. NEVER did I remember that I had prayed and hoped God would do this. I was caught up in the moment.

A month or so later, I was playing on the worship team at a church we were attending. I had gotten there early to set up and we had spent about 30-40 minutes going through the worship set. Hopping down off the stage, I looked back at my setup. I was suddenly struck. I remembered. “Lord, I prayed for this exact kit and you did it. I didn’t need it. Yet, you lovingly supplied. You orchestrated and arranged for this very moment. You are SO GOOD. And I am so unworthy. Thank you.”

I shared my testimony many times. How, God doesn’t just give us what we need and only after we’ve been stripped of everything. He delights in giving us the desires of our hearts. And I would share of the “Fire and Forget Prayer and the worship team moment.” This went on for a few years and eventually the story faded into the archives of my testimony.

Fast forward another 23 years. Its 2018. God has us in a period of waiting. He has blessed us immensely. 16 years of success in business. Beautiful home. Beautiful family. But we are in a season of change. He has quieted my business and it is now no longer. We have a massive amount of debt from trying to keep it alive the past 4 years but always trusting Him that He was going to “turn it around.” This year He didn’t. All the employees are laid off and the phone has gone quiet. No emails. No new projects. Yet in all of it, he had pierced our hearts. He has pointed out our captivity and called us to repentance. And we did repent. We have been repenting a lot lately. And He said, “you are forgiven. Now stand and watch what I will do.” And he gave me a simple task. A simple task that I was to go do 7 times. A humiliating, almost embarrassing task. And it was a task that I can only do twice a week so it’s going to take a few weeks to complete this.

During this time of waiting, he has kept me busy with varying things. Meetings. Projects. Action items. I want to get things done though. I want to sell stuff. Downsize. Be good stewards. Get out of debt. Purge. Sell the house and pay everything off. Then hit reset.

I’ve listed the boat and called a friend about listing the house. I sold an old bike and got an extra $300. I have a few things on Craigslist but that’s been pretty quiet. I am trusting God. My wife has been chiding me about getting rid of some drums. I agree. It’s on my list. I finally act.

Which kit? Well, which one am I using the least? I look. It’s the black one. I haven’t used that one for years. Mainly because I’ve always considered it special. It’s like the Steinway of my drums. It stays at home. Its beautiful and I want to keep it that way. But it can also bring the most money. For all those same reasons. It’s a Yamaha Maple Custom and its coveted by many drummers.

I found one online exactly like mine. Exactly. I call on it. Its sold. 2 Grand. I ask about selling mine and the answer is “absolutely- those drums are sought after.” I go home and brave the hot attic, dragging the drums down the stairs. I open up each case. Drums..perfect. Heads? Not so much. I run up to the music store and buy new heads. I return home and change the heads. I clean up the drums and set them in the bonus room...right across the room from a chair where I pray and have quiet time. “this should be a quick $1500 after commission. I can pay some bills.”

My wife and I talk for a bit about some stuff our son is going through. She then gets up and makes her way to bed. I turn down the lights and figure I’ll pray for a bit before I go to bed. I sit in the chair. I am looking at my drums. And I remember. And so does my Father, “remember when I got you those drums? Remember your testimony? How you were so excited that something you didn’t even really need ended up yours? And you were so enamored with me. I got you those drums. Remember how disappointed you were when you didn’t get your first drum set? Your parents didn’t get you that kit. Yet you asked me for this one and I gave them to you. I give good gifts. I am not like your parents. They have limited resources. I don’t. I have given you good gifts. So, why are you selling the good gifts I am giving you? You keep selling stuff I give you. Why?”

“Because I need the money.... I guess” and my confidence in my answer quickly gives way to embarrassment and humility. I am ashamed. My Father gives me gifts and I sell them because I don’t believe he is going to keep it up. And I am about ready to do it again (drums) and again (boat) and again (house). I break. And I weep. I am so sorry Father. I am so sorry.

“I have told you to wait. Just wait. I’ve given you one thing to do...seven times. That is all I am asking of you. Stop trying to buy your way out of this. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your drums. Enjoy your house, your boat. I give good gifts...and I don’t give and take back. Wait and trust me. I have said, ‘now stand and watch what I will do.’ That is all I am asking of you. Believe me, Rick. Trust me. You know me. Your confidence is from me. Live in that.”

Rick