Our Provider

Sherry B. A little more than a month ago our 16 year daughter Kaeli was hit in the school parking lot and our car was totaled. She had her license for only 2 weeks. The car was a 1998 Jaguar XK8 convertible with only 50,000 miles on it. I had purchased it when I was single and my mother was alive. It held a lot of sentimental meaning to me and I was very upset as I knew it would be difficult to replace as it was in such great condition with low mileage. Although it was not a practical car for our family I just could not sell it. I didn’t realize until this past Monday what the car represented to me. Kent and I had also been praying and believing God to send us the right car to replace the one we had lost. We had searched the internet high and low to find a car but to no avail. On Monday we had a ministry meeting at the venue of our “A Night of Celebration” event that is coming up on Oct. 26th. As I was sitting on the sofa I mentioned to Karen that we were looking for a car. She said “Oh I have a guy you need to call. He is a friend of Bill Alsop’s.” When I heard Bill’s name my ears perked up as Bill is a strong man of God in whom I trust. Kent called him that afternoon and within a couple of minutes had an appointment the next day to look at a car. That night as I was spending my quiet time with the Lord he brought something to my memory. I remembered how upset I became as I was discussing the car with my sisters on Monday. Just talking about the loss of the car brought tears to my eyes and so much sadness to my heart. Why was I reacting this way? I know it held sentimental meaning to me as I could remember my mother riding in it but it was just a car. A material thing. “Why Lord am I so upset?” Only the Holy Spirit knows our hearts and can reveal those mysteries to us.

He reminded me that I had purchased the car at a time in my life when I was very self dependent and very self reliant. My identity was not in Christ but in the world. And the loss of this car represented the last vestiges of that old identity. The hardest thing we ever do in this life is to die to self. To surrender the wheel of our life to God. God does not make bad things happen. He did not cause that accident but He did use it. Had that accident not happened I don’t think I would ever have sold that car. I would have held onto it with no understanding as to why. It needed to go, just as the last remnants of my old identity had to go. In order for God to bring better things into our lives we must let go of the old. With God, the restoration is always greater than the loss! When we put our trust in HIM He promises to restore 120% of what was taken. God could not use Moses for the first 40 years of his life. The Bible says he was strong in word and deed. The next 40 years he had no trust in himself. When God appeared to him he was stammering, and then God knew he was ready to surrender to him. For the first 32 years of my life I was like Moses. God could not use me. Only when I surrendered to Him did I truly begin to live. When you find Jesus is when you find yourself as God placed YOU in HIM.

When we arrived at Steven’s house I could feel the presence of Christ in this man. It turns out that he had been a pastor in Manhattan for several years and God moved Him to Raleigh for a period of “rest.” The car was far above and beyond what we had found. It was gorgeous! And much newer, with less miles and priced far below ANYTHING we had found. It had a couple of small dings on the driver’s side but I knew those dents had a deeper meaning for me. They represented my dependence on Christ. They remind me that I don’t have to be perfect to be happy. My joy isn’t dependent on what I do or achieve but on what Christ did at that cross for me. It reminds me that my identity is in HIM. And there such great freedom in that!

We could literally drive this car for two years and sell it and make a profit on it. ONLY God can do that! What we had spent so much time searching for God had already provided. Before we left Kent put His arms around Steven and we prayed together. This is a special man and this was a divine appointment. God had shown us so much through the purchase of a “car.” He restored what we lost with a much better and newer car, introduced us to a new friend and healed a deep wound within my heart that I didn’t even realize was there. He also showed me that all of that time we had spent searching for a car...hours and hours of googling simply stole our time. The enemy had stolen our precious moments. You see, when we don’t trust God to provide the enemy is the only gainer.

The minute we asked God for a car He was on it. He had already answered our prayer. Our job was to simply trust Him. So many times we think we are trusting God but we are really just trusting in ourselves. We want God to get on our plan rather than us getting on His. Kent and I have grown so much through this experience. Our faith has strengthened and God has brought us closer to Him. Steven has four small children, four month old newborns and a three and five year old. We have invited his wife to our Wednesday night study. How wonderful is that! I am in awe of how very good our Father is!

Is there something in your life that you need God to restore and redeem? Ask Him for it. Believe Him to provide it. Thank Him for it. And then enjoy your life while He works behind the scenes to bring it to you.

Sherry.